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Restarting a year latter. Day 1

Ok so this morning reality slapped me in the face. This is the THIRD time I've really broken down and cried about my weight. Each time I vow that it will be the last...each time I set a limit for myself before reality gets the best of me. The first time I started freaking out I think I was about 170 lbs. The next time I was in the 180's. So for the past year I secretly said to myself so long as I don't get to 200 lbs I'll be ok with what I weigh. Well this morning out of the blue I wipped the dust of my bathroom scale, held my breath, and had the devastation devour me. 202 lbs. I knew it was right. It's time to put on my big girl pants (not to be mistaken with my fat girl pants) and do something about this. Like NOW. No more talking about it. I tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not seeing the girl that I feel like inside. It's horrifying to think that I've let it go this bad.

I have no excuses left to use up. I know what I need to do...I just have to stick to it.

Measurements:
Weight 202 lbs
Arm (L) 13.5 (R) 13.5
Neck 14
Bust 42
Chest 35
Waist 42
Hips 47
Thigh (L) 25.5 (R) 25.5

Day 4

What a "bad" day. Why is it that whenever I've had a long day the first thing I want to do is shove a Big Mac in my face? Today after school I drove (out of my way) to that big golden arch and excessively indulged. I don't know what is worse the fact that I have NO self control or the fact that it wasn't a meal time. I ate breakfast this morning which really was the nice healthy lunch I made and packed for myself the night before. I then had a yogurt and a banana for lunch. I have not yet worked out since I've "re-started" this journey, unless you want to include the rearranging of furniture to set up our Christmas Tree and decorations. Hahaha that's right Christmas comes as early as possible in this house. I should feel more motivation in the weight loss department though as my hubby and I just booked a vacation to Maui. I have three months exactly to make things happen otherwise I'll be spending my vacation in our hotel room, fully clothed.

Day 1

As you can see for those of you who used to follow me there has been a few changes going on here:
#1 I'm blogging again :)
#2 I've deleted all previous posts- I'm starting new folks
#3 I've gained all the weight back :(
#4 Today is Friday the 13th...

I picked this day to re-start as I HATE Friday the 13th. I knew my weight had skyrocketed again, so knowing today would be a bad day anyways I thought it would be a perfect day to rip the bandaid off and start the healing.

This time the key is to not get overwhelmed. With just less then a month left of school I'm going to focus on finishing up the semester nice and strong. Which means I may or may not blog everyday. And that's ok. There are things I learned last time that will change the way I do things on here this time. For example, I will NOT be weighing myself everyday. Once a week is less daunting and time consuming anyways. Some things will stay the same though. This will remain as an open blog where people can read and comment on what I write, and I promise to be completely honest and share my numbers, struggles and joys with anyone who is willing to read them.

I thought about starting up again in January or February, once school is finished and I'm out working, but today it hit me....I don't want to wait I selfishly want to look better for graduation, and I want to feel and look better for when I meet the new people I'm going to be working with. So today is the day. Below is the starting point in pounds and inches:

Weight 184 lbs
Neck 13.5
Arms L) 12.5 R) 13.5
Bust 39
Chest 33
Waist 40
Hips 45.5
Thighs L) 28 R) 29